A year apart.

 

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:: Poems ::

 

emotional flat line.
pump my stomach for smiles that make sense
the growth process seems past tense
I’ve fallen off the fence
to pandemonium again.

 

Written Sunday, August 25th, 2002 @ The Blue Star.

***

 

I feel like I’m working overtime
and every minute depends on
whether I’m smiling
It’s not easy being happy all the time
It’s not easy being responsible all the time
I can’t always be easy to be around
I don’t always know what to say
or how to say it
I just want to pull out my hair,
put a gun to my head.
Scream, bite, run.
I’d rather be following my dreams
than trying to catch butterflies
with bare hands.
I’m sorry, but
I’m trying.
How much should I kick and scream
before I’m heard
or understood.
Compromise can be such a burden
and sacrifice degenerates sometimes.
It’s like I have to set time aside
to find time.
And I just don’t have it.
Because the alarm always rings past snooze.

 

Written Friday, June 27, 2003.

***

 

I’m developing an anxious tick
I find myself waiting
a lot of the time
feeling fine overall
so scared I’ll fall
back into the barrel
and have to wrestle with monkeys
bad purple monkeys
with a wicked sense of humor.

 

Written Thursday, April 29th, 2004.

***

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