I think, rain.

I wrote this around the time that I started playing piano again. It’s the first and only instrumental song I’ve written and recorded to date. I use to feel that I had to have lyrics when writing songs. I clung to words as the skeletal element; the scaffolding. At some point music-making morphed into a more fluid process. Words fell away. My instruments wanted to sing. And I wanted to listen.

Song written, performed, and recorded by o.dawn.i Thursday, February 23rd, 2012.
Photo made by o.dawn.i Tuesday, April 27th, 2010.

This space.

What do I do with this space?
Where there was you, I suffocate.

Written Sunday, March 17th, 2013.

Photo taken early January, 2013.

Compost you and me.

It’s been decided.
I’m un-invited to the possibility.
You won’t give chase to the chance that
this could be something worth talking about.
Worth fighting about.
Because it has to be perfect, and smooth, and expected.
That’s where the opportunity over-ripens
and is smooshed beyond usability.
Compost is the option.
Compost you and me.

Written Monday, November 5th, 2012 @ Flowers.

***

Performed, recorded, and mixed by Odawni AJ Palmer.
Original song by Emily and The Woods.

Photograph taken by Odawni AJ Palmer.
Copyright 2011.

I don’t feel it anymore.

I have been itching to do some recording. And here something finally is. For the past few weeks I’ve been thickening my fingertip calluses while working on covers of songs by everyone from MJ, to The Cutting Crew, to Porthishead, to Blonde Redhead. I’ve also been trying to get something original out. Like trying to squeeze the last bit of minty freshness out of a toothpaste tube.

All those many hours. And yet. I feel my musical self has been sub-subpar. I’m not entirely pleased with the end-product of this one but being OK with creative endeavors that are, mmm. OK. Is, well.  Just fine. It’s all part of the process – indeed.

Must. Keep. Practicing.

This is a cover of a song by William Fitzsimmons, “I Don’t Feel It Anymore”. With Priscilla Ahn. I stumbled upon a remixed version of it on my M83 station on Pandora while studying today. Please excuse the crunchy bass end on this tune. It was wanting to be the life of the party this evening.

Wonderment: where it begins.

My second-oldest brother, Tony, recently asked Sarah to be his bride, and I couldn’t be happier for them both.

Sarah’s parents and our parents met for the first time at our parents’ house in Port Townsend the other weekend and the ‘how we met’ stories were shared (so I hear. I drove over for dinner with everyone the following day – I missed them, the stories!)

Tony and Sarah are planning two weddings: a winter wedding in Sagada, the mountain province in the Philippines where our mom is from, and a summer wedding at Fort Worden in Port Townsend. To better prep Sarah for her Philippino wedding, we whipped out photos from Wylie and Vickie’s Sagada wedding (our oldest brother and sister-in-law), who consequently had a Sagada wedding and on the same day that Tony and Sarah will tie the knot!

Years ago, I remember looking through a photo album of old black-and-white shots of when Mom and Dad first met, so while Tony, Sarah, and Sarah’s parents perused the wedding photos, I moved furniture away from the doors to the enormous ‘photo’ closet in the TV room to hunt down the album. I didn’t find it. I found something better: photos from Mom and Dad’s courtship in Sagada when Dad was in the Peace Corps, photos and a newspaper clipping of their wedding (“US Volunteer Pick Sagada Lass for Bride”), snapshots of the beginning of their lives together when Dad stole Mom away to the US, and photos of Mom’s parents.

It’s difficult to imagine what your parents’ lives looked like before you were born. It’s impossible to know how they interacted as young 20-somethings, or what their day-to-day lives were like. This is one of the reasons I am enamored by photographs. They capture visual snippets of history that can never otherwise be seen or experienced again.

Looking through the photos of Mom and Dad, I feel like I learned more about who they are, or, at least, who they were as young adults, and I realize that we have more in common than I was aware. I mean, look at all the photos of Dad with a camera! And, as I was telling Jake the other day, “my mom looks so much like me!” To which he responded, “Uh, I think it’s actually the other way around.”

As we peered closely through pages of faded photos, I couldn’t help but recognize that Tony and Sarah are at about that time in their lives – they’re at the beginning of their togetherness. They’ll have their own album, too. And it will hold photos for their future kids to some day page through in wonderment.

You can view the photo set here.